TEENAGER IN THE HOUSE!
Jessica is now officially a teenager! Auuughhhh! She is definitely working hard at making sure we all know that she is a teenager :) This year we asked and asked what she wanted to do for her birthday and she wouldn't give us any suggestions. She ended up going to the movies on Friday with some friends and had them sleep over. So, we had to choose another night to take her out to dinner and give her gifts... followed by her birthday cake at home later.

I can't believe how fast the years are going now. She reminds us frequently that we only have 4 more summers before she graduates from high school. It actually makes me kind of sad because that is my favorite part of summer is having my kids around all day. I am glad though that she dreams of plans for her future and wants to be independent... hopefully she can be patient (me too)! She is having a great year at school and has some really good friends... one of them she is conspiring with to go to college in England.... we'll see about that! We are so proud of all that she has accomplished this year... she's gotten great grades, made lots of new friends, helps me around the house and is becoming a great painter (she's been taking lessons).

I am grateful for: My little girl... she would argue this but I still see that little bouncy toddler in her and every time she gives her little "cheese" like in the picture above I see my little Jesi! I am grateful for a daughter who is such a good example to me and makes really good choices. I am grateful for her perseverance and how she toughs a lot of things out that I don't know if I could. I love her so much!

Still Missing You Mom...
I debated if I would do this post... because I'm already in tears. November 21st is the anniversary of my mother's death, the celebration of my daughters birth along with the birthday of my mother-in-law. Three important women in my life have left lasting impacts on this one day of the year.

I really haven't journalized the events of November 21st, 2000 when I lost my mother. Ken and I were living here in Monterey County when I had a very brief scattered discussion with my mother on that Monday morning. She was in noticeable pain and couldn't really converse. I was drenched in tears and knew that her time was very short. The last thing she told me is that she was proud of me and I was a good mother... something that meant so much to me coming from her. I quickly called Ken at work to come home because we needed to get on the road.

The ride was soooo long and very quiet. We stopped to sleep for 3 hours since it was a 23 hour ride and we were exhausted. As we pulled into rush hour in the Denver Metro area Ken was speeding around cars on the shoulder when I had this very calm, peaceful feeling engulf me and I turned to Ken and said, "It's OK, slow down."

As we pulled up to my parents home everyone was standing on the front porch. (Cell phones were pretty new and we hadn't got one yet.) When I saw everyone, I knew. The pain of losing mom was noticeable without any words. Come to find out, she had passed 15 minutes prior to our arrival... approximately the time I asked Ken to slow down.

As I entered their home I saw that my little sister Susan (who had done most of her care taking when my father was away) had decorated for Jessica's 5th Birthday in the dinning room while feeling the pains of loosing our mother in the back room, she is such a wonderful person.

My little brother Robert was the one present with my mother when she slipped away, they were especially close as my little brother had some serious health issues growing up that required a lot of time from my mother. Little did we know... he would follow her 12 months later.

A lot has happened in the past 8 years. It is still so hard to believe she is gone. I have this rubbermaid bin of old stuff from her that had her smell... all mom's have their sweet smell. When we moved from Yuma, AZ to Camarillo, CA I openned it to "smell" mom and it was gone. Oh boy... that makes me cry thinking of it. It's so funny how a simple smell can make you feel loved, and secure, and bring back so many memories.

I am grateful for: My mom and the legacy she left, all of the things she taught me, her patience and frustration, her willingness to hang in there, her strong desire to be a good mother and to improve on what she knew. She always tried to put us kids first making huge sacrifices along the way.

The Look of Love!

I need to journal this for myself, I give anyone reading this fair warning that it is sappy and speculative! Yesterday I was joking around with Jessica in the family room and looked up at Ken sitting at the table staring at me. His face was, I don't know... peaceful maybe, and he had this smile... it wasn't a typical smile. He had this same look a couple weeks ago when he was listening to me talk when I asked him, "Why are you looking at me that way?" He responded, "Your beautiful, I love you.... WHAT?"

So... I was at our Youth Bishop Discussion (AKA Fireside) last night when the Bishop asked me to talk about the qualities that attracted me to Ken. When I sat down I found myself pondering this "look" he'd given me and realized that it was the kind of look I've seen little old men give their wives as they watch them!

So... is this the look of love or exhaustion? Because with a brief stare I felt so warm and cared for... no words, just a look?

Veteran's Day Tide-pooling!
Our friends the Gill's called us up on Veteran's day to go tide-pooling! Loved it... the tide was low and the critters were abundant!

Sierra, Jessica, Aaron & Joshua

Lots of starfish Jessica... always running away from the camera!Josh playing with the GIANT kelp... he loves the stuff!I yelled at Josh to get down... then said WAIT... I want a pix first :) I am grateful for: Last minute excursions with friends!

We've been SO busy!
Life has been really busy the last few weeks with all the mommy stuff, school, V'teaching, Prop 8, wrestling, art lessons and YW's but I love every moment! I finally decided that I needed to take a moment today and update the blog... since it is my journal and I want to print it in January! I'm so thrilled that I've managed to post at least twice a month... I don't know why this system works for me but it does!! Thanks Susan for getting me started. We've been up to a lot of random things... but here's a few:

Jessica & Joshua making egg noodles for homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

Um... Josh finally watched Speed Racer and next thing we knew he had made this out of cardboard!

I am grateful for: Being busy... it can be crazy but there is so much to be said for feeling like you have accomplished something. I am grateful for the time I have been blessed with to get everything done!! I know where it is coming from and I am so deeply grateful to the Lord.

HALLOWEEN 2008
We went to our wards trunk-or-treat the Saturday before Halloween and then went in the neighborhood with our neighbors, the Jacob's. Their son and our kids are the only kids in the neighborhood and they had a blast. All of our neighbors were very kind and the kids received many "King Sized" treats! :) They loved every minute of it.

Josh & Jesi w/The Jacob's

Jessica... the Beehive... as a Bumble Bee. I just loved this costume and am glad that she decided to dress up this year... she wasn't going too!
Josh as... Jango Fett (for those of you who are even interested, it's Bobba Fett's dad). Enjoy... this is the last year of Star War costumes... I told Josh we are going "outside" the costume box next year... we've seen Star Wars characters for 3 years now!

I am grateful for: Silly holidays that give us all something to look forward too... and the chance to play dress up and it be OK! :)